Gay Space Marines Are The Real Problem of Today’s Video Games
They could very well have their dicks out too, it makes no difference
I like it when someone with authority speaks up about the real issues in video games today. Usually, when this subject comes up most of the big guys in the industry sugar coat it and try to make us believe that everything is fine, as long as we keep buying games without paying attention to their flaws and most of all, prices.
But from time to time, a hero is born. A hero that, just like Neo in The Matrix, can see the real world as it is. Today, that hero's name is Denby Grace and he's the senior producer of Mafia 2 at 2K Games. He was giving an interview for MTV Multiplayer Blog when the following question arrived: "What is the real problem the games industry faces in 2010?".
His answer shook the foundation of our very reality, by being dangerously spot on: "It's a very good question and maybe a little general for a concise answer. An obsession with gay space marines."
Fellow gamers, the time has come. Our messiah is here, our wait has not been in vain. Raise your hands and pray, for the truth is finally out there.
Mafia II Has Boobs
Obviously, boobs.
You have guns, gangsters, cars and a suit. What's missing? If you answered boobs you are correct. Women would have also been correct, but that's just like the boobs chassis or something so it's kinda the same thing. What Mafia 2 has actually is a few Vintage Playboy magazines which you can find and *sigh* read in game.
They're some kind of collectibles, and hear this, they're uncensored too. The game already has a 18+ rating so what the hell, throwing in some high quality porn won't change anything. Mafia 2 is scheduled for release on 27th of August, so stay tuned and don't forget: gotta collect them all!
Mafia 2 Exclusive PS3 DLC
"Call Jimmy man, I think this guy's having a panic attack"
Yes, there's no Mafia 2 yet, but why wait for it to be released before announcing a DLC? Sure, they could have just added the stuff from this DLC into the actual game, but you can't sell it for 80 buck now, can you? Yes, it's not free. For $9,99 we will take the role of Jimmy in (wait for it) The Betrayal of Jimmy. Jimmy is a badass mercenary the other pussy wise guys call to do the dirty work, like killing priests or whatever. Here's some info from the actual press release:
"The Betrayal of Jimmy will take players into an alternate perspective of the mob through the eyes of Jimmy, a mercenary. Jimmy is the guy the other guys call when they need to finish the job. The Betrayal of Jimmy features dozens of intense newly created arcade-style, city-based missions that keep Jimmy driving, shooting and rampaging through Empire Bay. Missions will unlock as they progress, activating a slew of assassination and timed vehicle missions ending in dramatic shootouts and explosive car chases. Players will rack up points for performance, power slides, and skill shots. The scores will be immediately posted to the new leaderboard system, providing extensive re-playability, as players work to rise to the top of the ranks. Get to know Empire Bay - the executioner's way."
The other DLC (yes, there will be 2 of them) is called Jimmy's Vendetta and you guessed it, it's about the same Jimmy again, coming back to kick some ass and wash the blood from the floor. This time, the DLC will be available on all platforms, but there's no price information yet. Ah what the hell, it will cost $10. Take my word for it.
"In Jimmy's Vendetta, which will be available for PlayStation 3 system, Xbox 360 and PC, players will get their hands dirty helping Jimmy clean up other people's messes. New city-based missions and locales will give players many new reasons to head back to Empire Bay. Jimmy's Vendetta will offer more replay action and allow players to outrank friends as they rise to the top of the leaderboard. Details on pricing and availability for Jimmy's Vendetta will be revealed at a later date."
Got job?
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